- Suicide rates among teenagers seem to rise every year; some are disguised as accidents or drug overdoses.
- Possible reasons for teens ending their lives include breakups, poor grades, or not making the team.
- These issues may not seem serious to adults, but to adolescents, they are paramount.
Suicide is often a taboo topic that parents don’t want to talk about with their teens because of the fear that perhaps they might end their own lives when things get tough for them.
Possible reasons for ending their lives could be breaking up with their girlfriend or boyfriend, poor grades, not making the cheerleading squad or the athletic team, having high expectations of themselves and then not being able to fulfill them, thinking they are too thin or overweight when in reality they are not, trying to get back at someone because they were embarrassed in front of their girlfriend or boyfriend, or abuse of drugs or alcohol. The reasons can go on and on. Some of the reasons may sound silly to adults, but to teenagers, they are very serious.
Suicide rates among teenagers seem to continue to rise year after year. Some may be disguised as an accident or drug overdose or even not mentioned by families due to the stigma society has put on it. As parents, it is very important to talk to your teen now before a suicide happens as well as after one has happened.
What should you be aware of? Being bullied online by another student. Cluster suicides—one person ends their life, then another follows suit, then another and another. Falling or failing grades, a breakup, when your teen hears about suicide, whether it is at school or even if it is a celebrity, and they want to talk—please be available to listen.
A sudden change in their emotions, such as sadness, anger, revenge. Language like: “You would be better off without me being around,” “I am not any good to anyone,” or “Nobody likes me—I am so dumb.” If they seem to be in some kind of emotional pain, listen to them and their words.
They may begin to give away their favorite clothes, books, posters, and old tapes to their friends when these things are very important to them. This is a cry for help—so please be aware. They may be feeling hopeless and lost. This is not the time to judge or lecture them; rather, it is time to listen to them explain why they feel this way. If your teen has a plan, this could be a sign that their feelings are strong, and they may very well try to end their life.
They may be feeling helpless, hopeless, withdrawn from families, friends, or even school activities that they loved being involved in previously. However, they may seem to be very involved with others who have attempted suicide and failed; they may be really interested in what others have tried to do, or perhaps they have started cutting themselves. Listen and pay attention to their actions as well as their words, and perhaps it could be time for someone to intervene and seek out the suicide hotline or other kinds of help.
When a person, no matter what their age is, ends their life, it is often because of the pain they may be feeling physically, mentally, socially, or spiritually and because they have lost hope. Both of these go together. If any of these signs are present with your teen, please get help for them.
Talk with them. Listen to them. Acknowledge their joys and their pains. Let them know they can always come to you about anything at any time. This has to be their time, not just your time. Make time for them—set up a time and be there. Listen to them with your heart, not your head. Don’t judge them. Try to understand them, as hard as that may be for you.
If they are an athlete, be sure to attend their games—don’t say you will be there if time after time you are not there. These games are important to them, and when you show up to watch them play, it means more to them than you could ever know. They may not say anything to you, especially if they lose—then they really need you there to encourage them for the next game.
Remember, teenagers are all about themselves and trying to learn about life one way or another. Be aware of warning signs. Be mindful of your teenager’s friends, especially those who may have attempted suicide or who are on drugs or alcohol.
A good time to talk with teens is when they are shooting baskets, throwing a football around, hitting golf balls, hiking, camping, cooking, or whatever they enjoy doing. Both of you can relax and enjoy each other as you get to really know your teenager and they get to know and trust you a little more.