Five ways emotions change form, but like matter, cannot be destroyed.
KEY POINTS
- Like matter, emotion cannot be destroyed; it can only be altered to help a person cope.
- Emotions are fundamental to human existence.
- If we try to silence emotions, they may show up more potently in other ways.
“The body expresses what the mind represses.”
Introduction
The genesis of this post came from talking to Adam Dilla, M.S., about his emotions. We discussed that he had to suppress emotion during his traumatic childhood to survive; expressing feelings would only make the abuse and neglect he endured even worse. But just because he had to suppress them for survival, they never went away; they merely manifested as mental, psychological, and physical health issues until he dealt with them effectively later on in therapy. So, we concluded that emotion, especially strong, negative emotional reactions, like matter, cannot be destroyed; only altered to help the feeler cope with their unique circumstances at their time of birth. This is what brought us to the insight that this is strikingly identical to a fundamental law of physics: the conservation of matter. It states that matter cannot be created or destroyed; it only changes form. I believe comparing a law of matter to our emotional processing can inform and deepen our understanding of emotion, especially strong, negative emotional states, and its far-reaching effects on our health, lives, communities, and the world. Why?
Because emotions are fundamental to human existence. They are arguably the most important signals our body gives us—our innate inner GPS system. They powerfully shape our perceptions, decisions, and interactions. They are dynamic and fluctuating; while often transient, stronger ones invariably leave lasting impressions. Just as matter undergoes physical transformations without ever being annihilated, strong, negative emotional reactions undergo transformations in response to various stimuli and experiences but are never destroyed. This parallels trauma pioneer Bessel van der Kolk’s seminal book, The Body Keeps the Score. The book’s summary is that the body holds a record of all noteworthy emotional reactions (especially those lasting, negative, and traumatic) one hasn’t dealt with; all the unprocessed, strong negative emotional reactions that wreaked havoc in the body.
1. Persistence of Emotions
Strong, negative emotional reactions, once generated, do not simply vanish. Evolutionarily, they have proved to be too important to overlook. They will not be silenced; so if we try to silence them, they may show up more potently in other ways, i.e., troubled behavior, addiction, nightmares, etc. They may seem to fade in intensity or be overshadowed by new emotions, but, according to the law of conservation of emotion (the basis of this post), their essence remains somatically embedded. For instance, a profound experience of fear, sadness, or anger lingers into the body, shaping future emotional responses and behavior. This enduring nature of emotions is akin to the persistence of matter; though its form may change, its substance remains.
2. Transformation of Emotions
Strong, negative emotional reactions can change from one form to another, much like matter can transform from solid to liquid to gas. A person’s anger, for example, might dissipate over time and morph into forgiveness or indifference. This transformation is often facilitated by introspection, support from others, therapy, exercise, external influences, or the passage of time. Similarly, the joy of a particular achievement might evolve into a sense of contentment or motivation for future endeavors. These transformations illustrate the fluidity of emotions and their capacity to adapt and reformat according to present and future circumstances. When our needs get met and we move toward health, our emotional reactions adaptively transform, naturally.
3. Emotional Energy
According to the law of conservation of emotion, we can also consider emotions as energy (“e”-motion means to be in motion). Emotional energy (just like energy in general), once generated, can neither be created nor destroyed. Instead, it shifts and transfers, much like kinetic or potential energy in physical systems. A stressful situation might initially generate anxiety, but through coping mechanisms and emotional regulation, that anxiety is ideally converted into resilience, growth, strength, wisdom, or determination. The energy of the initial emotion is not lost but rather redirected and rechanneled into different emotional states.
4. Coping Mechanisms and Emotional Adaptation
Human beings possess a remarkable ability to adapt emotionally. This adaptability is crucial for mental health and well-being. When faced with trauma or significant emotional upheaval, individuals employ various coping mechanisms to manage their emotions. These mechanisms do not eliminate the emotional impact but transform it into more manageable or constructive forms. For example, mindfulness practices, such as meditation, can create conditions in which stress and anxiety can flow into equilibrium, calm, and focus. Therapy can help individuals process grief and transform it into acceptance and hope.
5. Emotional Memory and Learning
Emotional experiences are also integral to learning and memory. Emotions associated with specific events are stored in our memory, influencing future reactions and decisions. This emotional memory ensures that past experiences continue to shape our present and future, even if/as the original emotional intensity diminishes. For instance, a painful experience might teach caution, while a joyful experience might encourage repetition of the behaviors that led to it. Thus, emotions persist through their impact on our learning and decision-making processes.
Conclusion
The law of conservation of emotion posits that emotions, like matter, cannot be destroyed but only altered. I believe it underscores the enduring and transformative nature of emotion, especially strong, negative emotional reactions. Emotions persist within us, continually reshaping and adapting in response to our experiences and interactions. By acknowledging and understanding this dynamic process, we can better navigate our emotional landscapes, harnessing the energy of our emotions in ways that promote connection, creativity, equanimity, growth, resilience, and well-being. I believe this law not only enriches our understanding of emotions but also highlights the intricate and perpetual interplay between our internal and external worlds.