Spreading Kindness Is a Choice that Takes Strength

Ken Druck Ph.D.

A Personal Perspective: Even small acts of kindness help build a better world.

Key points

  • We can choose to spread kindness or grumpiness; our choice impacts others as well as ourselves.
  • Kindness is contagious, creating a ripple effect that contributes to a more compassionate world.
  • Small acts of kindness, like a smile or holding a door, can uplift someone’s day and foster connection.
  • Practicing kindness boosts mood, reduces stress, and benefs both giver and receiver.

In today’s tumultuous world, it’s easy to find ourselves overwhelmed by bad news. In addition to whatever may be happening in our personal lives, family, jobs, and health, there are times when the world just seems to be unraveling. Daily reports of death, destruction, accidents, violence, poverty, homelessness, natural and environmental disasters, and national discord are deeply unsettling.

Some mornings I wake up burdened by such concerns and feel grumpy. I take all the fears, disappointments, worries, and pressures that I’m feeling with me on my morning walk not far from my home. Passing the friends, neighbors, and nameless strangers I see almost every morning on the trail, the grumpy version of me stares down and isn’t inclined to greet anybody with anything more than a passing glance and barely audible “mornin.”

On other mornings, I wake up thinking about the things that are going right in my life and community. It might be something I saw last night on TV or the video of my grandson learning to swim that lifted my spirits. Whatever it is, I leave for my morning walk with a smile and a heart full of hope and gratitude. On these mornings, I feel blessed and think about all the good things happening in my life. Taking a hopeful mindset with me on my morning walk, I am inclined to greet fellow walkers with a robust “Good morning,” a comment on what a beautiful day it is or give them a compliment.

And then there are days when a simple smile or kind word from a fellow walker, who could even be a stranger, changes everything. In an instant, I go from grumpy to grateful. I am becoming aware that regardless of which side of the bed I wake up on, I have a choice. I can spread the kindness I feel or the grumpiness.

This morning, I chose kindness. As I passed familiar faces and met new ones, I made a conscious effort to greet everyone warmly. I said good morning, wished people a nice day, and offered genuine compliments. In those moments, I realized two things: the extent to which kindness can be a choice and a practice and how contagious things like kindness and grumpiness can be.

When we spread kindness, we create ripples that extend far beyond us. The people we touch with our kindness are more likely to pass it on to others, creating a chain reaction of goodwill. Courtesy, kindness, patience—all these virtues are contagious. By embodying them, we contribute to making the world a softer, kinder, more forgiving, and more compassionate place.

We live in a world that often emphasizes high drama and bad breaking news over stories about the people who made compassion, empathy, and kindness a priority. How different might our lives and our world be if each of us dedicated some time each day to spreading the kindness? It can be as simple as a smile, a kind word, or a small act of generosity. Holding the door for someone, letting a car merge in front of you in traffic, or offering a sincere compliment can change the trajectory of someone’s day. Small gestures can have a profound impact.

Consider the last times someone showed you kindness. Or grumpiness. How did it make you feel? Chances are, something simple brightened your day, lifted your spirits, reminded you that you were valued and appreciated, reaffirmed your sense of connection and belonging in the world. On the flip side, a simple act born of short-temperedness, impatience, unkindness may have created a ripple of grumpiness and contributed to a number of people paying it forward onto others.

We all have bad days. It’s natural to feel grumpy, stressed, or overwhelmed at times. But even on such days we have the power to choose how we treat ourselves and others. We can decide to air out our grumpiness in constructive ways and show kindness. This doesn’t mean suppressing our feelings or pretending everything is fine when it’s not. Rather, it means making a conscious decision to not let our fears, worries, disappointments, and resentments run the show in our lives and relationships.

Spreading kindness also benefits our brains. They release oxytocin, promoting feelings of connection and reducing stress. Kindness boosts our mood and increases our overall sense of happiness and satisfaction with life.

And practicing kindness improves our relationships. People are naturally drawn to kindness, and, when we show it, we build trust and strengthen our connections with others.

In a world where division and conflict dominate the headlines, news of kindness and hope are a powerful antidote to despair. Even small acts of kindness animate our shared humanity and remind us that we are all in this together. Each act of kindness, no matter how small, contributes to a collective movement toward a more compassionate and just world.

The next time you find yourself at a crossroads—whether to spread kindness or grumpiness—choose kindness. It can be the spark that lights up someone’s day, warms your own heart, and activates the best in all of us.

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