Daniela Owen Ph.D.

Going from thinking you should use your smartphone less to actually doing it.

Key points

• Charging phones outside bedrooms, turning phones off at events, and planning in advance get us off our phones.
• Parents need to model behavior changes in phone use if they expect changes in children’s behaviors.
• To effectively reduce phone use, implement thoughtful strategies consistently for all family members.

Here we are in 2024 and teachers, parents, and communities are all abuzz about limiting smartphone use in schools. But the potentially deleterious effects of these hard-to-resist devices aren’t new news. In 2019, the New York Times ran an article titled Putting Down Your Phone May Help You Live Longer. The article cites research about the dangerous health effects chronic phone use has on humans. Increased cortisol levels that result from using our phones (or even seeing or thinking about our phones) can over time cause a chronic stress response that can lead to negative effects from depression and anxiety to back and neck pain, heart attacks, and fertility problems. Using our phones less becomes the clear objective… but how?

Although this might seem like a no-brainer, I know it’s not. Companies spend billions of dollars keeping us on our phones and have turned our phones into multipurpose devices. So how do we really use our devices less in our everyday lives?

1. Charge your phone outside your room while you sleep.

I know this might seem silly, but this is one of the most effective strategies. Research shows having smartphones in our field of view effects our stress levels, performance on tasks, and distractibility. Find a spot, whether it is in an adjacent room or across the house that keeps you from checking your phone before you go to sleep, first thing when you wake up, and even during nighttime awakenings. Significant research has shown how damaging smartphones are to our sleep, including adolescent sleep. A big part of how phones disrupt sleep is that they ring, and beep, and light up whenever anything happens, cueing our brains to be alert and pay attention. If you need to be able to receive emergency calls in the night, charge it just outside your room where you will be able to hear if it begins to ring, but you won’t see all of the activity. Also mute your apps so the only sounds will be from calls.

2. Put away your phone when you are at events.

You don’t really need photos of everything that you do. Social media makes you think you do, but you don’t. And when you’re so busy looking for that best shot or checking emails and texts when you are at an event, you miss out on actually being at that event. You don’t allow yourself to become fully immersed in the experience of the event itself. So next time you are at the beach or your child’s soccer game, set the emergency calls that you want to ring through and then put your phone on Do Not Disturb and put it away. Then breathe in the scents. Look all around you at the sights. Feel the warm sun (or cool shade) on your skin. Listen to the sounds of people laughing and talking. Taste the subtle flavors of the foods you consume. The memories you come away with are the most vivid pictures you can take. Parents need to model this for kids. It’s unrealistic to expect children to put devices away when parents are glued to theirs. Work, photos, even potential emergencies (see above solve) are not excuses to only half engage.

3. Let people know your availability. Have teens do this too.

One reason people cite as a challenge with turning off or putting away phones is that someone will try to contact them and then be concerned when they are unavailable. Pick times when you (or kids) should not be on your phone and let others know these. For example, my patients know that I don’t answer calls or respond to emails during sessions. As a result, I can completely focus on the person in front of me while my phone is out of sight.

Setting times when kids can’t be on their phones like homework hours during the school year (a good way to help kids start HW sooner is to allow devices only after HW is complete) and after a certain time at night or before a certain time in the morning. Our smartphones slow us down considerably during the day, so setting parameters around use for ourselves and children can help with that minimized productivity. It’s easier to take breaks from phones when people in our lives know we’ll be doing so and won’t expect a quick response.

4. Brainstorm alternatives for things you use your phone for.

Many adults and kids use their phones for day-to-day functions. I always hear “I can’t charge my phone outside my room, it’s my alarm.” Alarm clocks are inexpensive and come in a wide variety these days. Calendar phone reminders are very helpful, but writing all upcoming events on a brightly colored Post-it placed in a convenient location like the fridge or steering wheel of a car is also very helpful. For teens who have school programs on their phones that they check for homework, print out assignments or use a computer that has blocks on social media sites during certain times to allow students to concentrate on working. And while this might seem absurd in this day and age, using an actual camera to take photos is still a good option for capturing moments. And as for music, it turns out iPods still work if you charge them.

5. Plan activities in advance.

By planning activities and events, kids are less likely to feel bored and reach for their phones for easy entertainment. Helping kids plan outings with friends and having everyone leave their phones behind or put them in a basket for later is a great way to help kids get on board. Pick times for yourself or your family when phones are not allowed and then have all family members follow this rule: meals, beach time, sporting events, watching movies, playing games, walking the dog, being at school or camp, or taking hikes. Then enjoy the freedom of being in the moment without checking your phone.